[FANFICTION] EXPLODED PAST I

CHAPTER I

TANGLED MYSTERY OF US

cover ep

Cast: Oh Sehun, Park Hyejin, Cho Kyuhyun

Genre: Angst, Tragedy, Romance

NO YAOI. NO BL.

RATED-M

Kaulah kecewa yang dulu kusebut surga

Kaulah hampa yang dulu kusebut nirwana

Kegelapan yang terlalu terlena

Kini kau datang membawa cahaya

Namun kau kutuk aku dengan bahagia

Tak apa

Asalkan luka yang dulu ada

Masih sempurna menganga

HYEJIN POV

Terasa ada yang meledak dalam diriku. Hatiku pecah berkeping-keping menjadi pecahan rasa yang sudah lama tak kukecap. Kekosongan beberapa menit lalu tiba-tiba saja terisi penuh, membuatku limbung dan ingin muntah, sekaligus menggosok mataku untuk memastikan ini bukanlah mimpi, bahwa dia memang ada di sana, sempurna dan utuh.

“Lama tak berjumpa,” sebuah kata standar untuk pertemuan antar teman lama. Bagiku, kalimat itu bukan hanya sapaan. Sapaan itu adalah sebuah awal baru untuk duniaku yang sebelumnya sekarat mencari cahaya. Kini, dia datang kembali.

“Benar,” sahutku tegas dan datar. Bertentangan dengan hatiku yang diguncang gempa dan digulung ombak tsunami.

Dia mengernyit bingung. Mungkin kaget karena keceriaan itu tidak dia temukan lagi. “Kau berubah.”

“Benarkah? Maka itu kemajuan yang bagus, bukan?” tanpa bisa dicegah, aku tersenyum. Bukan senyum yang dulu biasa kubagi dengannya. Senyum ini dingin. Bisa kulihat betapa mata itu terkejut dengan diriku yang baru. Tahukah kau, kepergianmulah yang membuatku seperti ini?

Dia mengernyit semakin dalam dan mengambil kursi di depanku. Tanganku mengepal. Berusaha tidak menghamburkan diri ke dalam pelukannya dan menanyakan ratusan alasan mengapa dia pergi. Tidak, aku tidak akan melakukannya. Sikap dinginnya meninggalkanku cukup menjelaskan semuanya. Dia tidak pernah peduli padaku. Aku hanya orang lain yang kebetulan lewat di hidup sempurnanya sebagai idola. Tidak ada yang pantas diingat mengenai diriku. Kecuali satu fakta itu, aku menyukainya. Dan dia tidak pernah tahu.

“Kau yakin sekali kursi itu tidak ada yang menduduki,” aku menatap langsung ke dalam matanya.

Dia memalingkan wajahnya. Entah karena tatapanku yang bisa melumatnya atau senyum sinisku yang menyakitinya.

“Aku sudah melihatmu sejak 1 jam yang lalu. Dan tidak ada seorangpun yang menemanimu. Jika ternyata ada seseorang yang seharusnyaduduk di sini, dia pasti terlambat,” jawabnya puas. Sialan, dia masih bisa membalik kata-kataku.

Aku diam. Ledakan perasaan itu masih berlangsung dalam diriku. Membuatku ingin menggapai kepingan rasa yang dulu bahagia. Membuatku ingin melempar diri ke masa lalu saat semuanya masih masuk akal. Saat aku masih menjadi diriku. Saat aku tak perlu memasang topeng untuk membohongi dunia tentang siapa aku sekarang.

Saat aku masih bisa mencintai layaknya cinta biasa.

“Kau berubah,” dia berkata sekali lagi. Aku ingin menjawab. Tapi dia kembali menyambung, “Yang ini bukan gayamu, apalagi sifatmu.”

Aku tersenyum tipis. Dia mungkin heran karena tak ada warna yang bisa dia temukan dalam diriku. Kemeja putih ketat yang menampakkan belahan dadaku dengan jelas, rompi hitam, dan rok lipit abu-abu yang hanya bisa diukur dengan sepotong jari dari selangkangan pasti membuatnya terkejut.

Inilah aku yang baru. Hitam, putih, abu-abu. Tak ada goresan warna. Sama seperti dunia tempatku hidup kini.

“Aku ingat dulu kau mengatakan tidak menyukai rok mini.”

“Semua orang berubah. Kau datang terlalu lama untuk melihatnya.”

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[HEART] UNSTAN EXO

OT12 Great title, huh?

Does it catch your attention?

Good, then. It is because right now I want to tell something new about me. Not really important of course. Who am I after all in your life?

But, it will be good if you stop by and read; maybe you will see something from many different perspectives.

Why do I keep barging you about different perspectives? Maybe you read my previous posts and I keep repeating it.

Do you know Sofie’s Verden, philosophical novel written by Jostein Gaarder? I read that novel when I was around 15 or 16—I don’t quite remember actually. One thing I really remember and has stucked in my head until now is about those who lived under the rabbit’s fur. Confused? Let me explain you. Those who lived in the rabbit’s fur tend to see from one perspective only. They only can look up to the sky and hope to jump out to see bigger view. But, they didn’t want to; the place where they lived right now is the safe zone. They are afraid to jump out and see the bigger view only to find out their expectation is no true. However, there are some people that jump out from the rabbit’s fur. Out of it, they become bigger and realize that the rabbit is so much smaller under their feet. They can look the rabbit completely. And even though it is true that their expectation didn’t fit the reality, they were relieved because at least they can see the bigger view.

It is the metaphor. Those who I call ‘they’ are us. We are who bounded in K-Pop world. We are who stuck in front of our laptop and scream our bias’s indefatigably. We are who spend our money to buy the merchandises and albums while we know can spend it for something else. We are who judge those who hate us for loving K-Pop.

Why don’t we leave? Why do we have stayed for so long? Why do feel being safe here? Even though there are many dramas in K-Pop, we still stay. Why?

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[NEWS/SCANDAL/REVIEW] What’s Wrong in Baekhyun and Taeyeon Dating Scandal?

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WARNING WARNING WARNING!

 

PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE WHILE READING MY ANALYSIS

 

DON’T BELIEVE IT FOR GRANTED

 

BE WISE

 

MY ANALYSIS IS NOT 100% TRUE

 

IF YOU HAVE BETTER ONES, SHARE IT.

 

IF YOU DON’T, DO NOT THROW FAIR JUDGEMENT SAYING THAT I AM DELULU FAN WHATSOEVER

 

READ THIS AS IF YOU ARE AN OUTSIDER

 

YOU ARE NOT EXOSTAN OR EVEN BAEKYEON SHIPPER

 

LOOK AT THIS ARTICLE FROM DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES

 

Three days ago, my friend told me about this Baekhyun-Taeyeon dating photos. At first, I didn’t even give a single glance to that photo. “That hoax and bullshit thing,” is what I said to her.

But, then, SM Entertainment confimed it! BLAAAAAM!!! My world fell apart at that very moment.

I went straight home. And I felt nothing. I looked at EXO folder in my laptop and I cried. Just like that. It hurts, but I didn’t even know why I should feel that way. I like Taeyeon. I adore SNSD a lot. It means I should have not hated her. And it’s true; I don’t even feel that way. So, why should I cry?

It had happened for two days. I didn’t even look up for the news and even for the source or magazine that created the news.

But, then, yesterday.. I found out that the source of the news is Dispatch…

.

.

.

For those who don’t know, Dispatch is the magazine that always created scandal with no logic and proofs. Maybe you could say that there is the photos but.. you need to look closer, guys. Dispatch is always failed in creating the scandal about SM Entertainment artists. Why? Maybe it is because SM Entertainment is the one who has the connection with Dispatch. And they want to Dispatch work fast and quick so that the scandal can be revealed as soon as possible. Can’t believe it?

Take a look at these surprisingly strange photos.

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[FANFICTION] Love In Pain

33

LOVE IN PAIN

Meeting you was fate

 Becoming your friends was choice,

But falling in love with you was beyond my control

Author: rosanera

Main Casts: Kim Jongin & Song Eunhee

Other Casts: Krystal Jung, EXO Members, EXO’s manager

Genre: Romance & Angst

 

Aku memilih jatuh padamu.

Tanpa pegangan.

Tanpa penahan.

Tanpa dirimu yang akan menangkapku di bawah sana.

Aku tahu kau hanya mimpi.

Namun, aku tetap tak bisa melepas bayangmu yang selalu pergi dari pandangku.

Kau menghempaskanku berkali-kali.

Tapi, kenapa hati ini tak jua berhenti?

Aku tetap mencintaimu.

Meski itu berarti….

Aku harus terluka lagi

 

EUNHEE POV

Aku menghapus air mata dengan kasar. Mati-matian berusaha menahan butiran air brengsek ini turun kembali. Percuma, air mataku bertambah deras. Seiring dengan cepatnya kilasan gambar itu berputar di benakku. Seiring dengan luka hatiku yang bertambah besar. Seiring dengan kesadaran yang bertambah jelas, bahwa aku begitu bodoh untuk mempertahankannya.

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[HEART] DEAR EXO

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Dear EXO,

Wah, akhirnya kalian comeback juga ya, setelah sekian lama. Jadi inget deh, betapa gregetannya waktu dulu nungguin kalian bener-bener debut, setelah puluhan teaser itu (percaya atau ga, folder EXO teaser di laptop gue ukurannya 1 GB! Cuman teaser lo! Kebayang kan betapa ngenesnya gue nungguin 12 alien itu). Tahu ga, waktu nungguin satu persatu teaser kalian muncul, aku sama temen-temenku bolos  cuma buat donlot di warnet. Ga panter dibanggain, sih.. Maaf ya kalau kalian marah. Masalahnya kalian itu bikin gregetan tahuuuu.. Tiap teaser kalian itu bikin sport jantung, hipertensi, batuk-batuk, kejang-kejang, pingsan, gejala-gejala aneh deh pokoknya.

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[LYRICS] EXO K – MAMA, The First Mini Album Full Lyrics (Hangul, Romanization, Translation)

 

MAMA

Composer: Yoo Young Jin

Hangul & Romanization

Careless careless shoot anonymous anonymous
Heartless mindless no one who care about me?
Careless careless shoot anonymous anonymous
Heartless mindless no one who care about me?
잃어버린 채 외면하는 것 같아 참을 수밖에 없어 눈을 감지만
iroborin che wemyonhaneun gotgata chameul subakke obso nuneul gamjiman

마마 이젠 내게 대답해줘 왜 사람들이 달라졌는지
mama ijen nege dedaphejwo we saramdeuri dallajyonneunji
아름다운 시절이라는게 존재하긴 했는지
areumdaun sijoriraneun-ge jonjehagin henneunji
이제 더는 사랑하는 법도 잊었고 배려하는 맘도 잃었고
ije doneun saranghaneun bopdo ijotgo beryohaneun mamdo irotgo
등을 돌린 채로 살아가기 바쁜걸
deungeul dollin chero saragagi bappeun-gol

익명의 가면에 감췄던 살의 가득한 질시
ingmyonge gamyone gamchwotdon sare gadeukhan jilsi
끝을 봐도 배고픈 듯한 이젠 만족해?
kkeuteul bwado begopeun deut-han ijen manjokhe?

우린 더 이상 눈을 마주 하지 않을까?
urin do isang nuneul maju haji aneulkka?
소통하지 않을까? 사랑하지 않을까?
sotonghaji aneulkka? saranghaji aneulkka?
아픈 현실에 다시 눈물이 흘러
apeun hyonsire dasi nunmuri heullo
바꿀 수 있다고 바꾸면 된다고 말해요 마마 마마
bakkul su itdago bakkumyon dwendago mar-heyo mama mama

언젠가부터 우린 스마트한 감옥에 자발적으로 갇혀
onjen-gabuto urin seumateuhan gamoge jabaljogeuro gatyo
0과 1로 만든 디지털에 내 인격을 맡겨
yonggwa illo mandeun dijitore ne in-gyogeul matgyo
거긴 생명도 감정도 따듯함도 없고 언어 쓰레기만
gogin sengmyongdo gamjongdo ttadeut-hamdo opgo ono sseuregiman
나뒹구는 삭막한 벌판
nadwingguneun sangmakhan bolpan

날이 갈수록 외로움만 더해져
nari galsurok weroumman dohejyo
우리가 인간일 수 밖에 없는 건 상처 받는 것 Yeah
uriga in-ganil su bakke omneun gon sangcho batneun got Yeah

만나고 손을 잡고 느끼며 함께 울고 웃고
mannago soneul japgo neukkimyo hamkke ulgo utgo
닮아가고 서로 연결돼
dalmagago soro yon gyoldwe
돌이키고 싶다면
dorikigo sipdamyon

우린 더 이상 눈을 마주 하지 않을까?
urin do isang nuneul maju haji aneulkka?
소통하지 않을까? 사랑하지 않을까?
sotonghaji aneulkka? saranghaji aneulkka?
아픈 현실에 다시 눈물이 흘러
apeun hyonsire dasi nunmuri heullo
바꿀 수 있다고 바꾸면 된다고 말해요 마마 마마
bakkul su itdago bakkumyon dwendago mar-heyo mama mama

Turn back!

죽고 죽이고 싸우고 외치고 이건 전쟁이 아니야
jukgo jugigo ssaugo wechigo igon jonjengi aniya
도와줘요 마마마마 마마마마 Turn back
dowajwoyo mamamama mamamama Turn back
깨닫게 마마마마 마마마마 Rolling back
kkedatge mamamama mamamama Rolling back
박고 치고 편을 나누고 싸우고 이건 게임도 아니야
bakgo chigo pyoneul nanugo ssaugo igon geimdo aniya
도와줘요 마마마마 마마마마 Turn back Yeah
dowajwoyo mamamama mamamama Turn back Yeah

Careless careless shoot anonymous anonymous
Heartless mindless no one who care about me?

삶에 허락된 축복받은 날들에 감사하고
salme horakdwen chukbokbadeun naldeure gamsahago
매일 새로운 인연들을 만들고
maeil seroun inyondeureul mandeulgo
깨져버린 마음에 보다 기쁜 사랑을 모두 함께
kkejyoborin maeume boda gippeun sarangeul modu hamkke
웃을 수 있다면
useul su itdamyon

우린 더 이상 눈을 마주 하지 않을까?
urin do isang nuneul maju haji aneulkka?
소통하지 않을까? 사랑하지 않을까?
sotonghaji aneulkka? saranghaji aneulkka?
아픈 현실에 다시 눈물이 흘러
apeun hyonsire dasi nunmuri heullo
바꿀 수 있다고 바꾸면 된다고 말해요 마마 마마
bakkul su itdago bakkumyon dwendago mar-heyo mama mama

Careless careless shoot anonymous anonymous
Heartless mindless no one who care about me?

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[REVIEW] EXO, Power Connection and Symbol, Fantasy or Fact?

EXO creates history this April. With their debut Music Video entitled MAMA, we finished our waiting.

But, this music video is not only musici video as usual with single story. From December 23rd 2011, EXO begin to lit our curiosity. KAI’s teaser is the beginning. Then other members overtake the stage of this new boyband.

After they released MAMA lately, what are the teasers for are revealed.

SM Entertainment prepares EXO debut carefully and not as normal. From MAMA, we know that is actually the story line.

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